Sorry I haven’t been writing for the past days. I got real busy and totally forgot that I have a wordpress account-slash-diary. Anyways, things are pretty good now. I feel so free, maybe not really IDK. My week has been a great one except for what happened today. I mean, I wish I didn’t tell my parents that the PTC was today. I received bad news. I got a low grade on Social Studies. My teacher even invented that I was inlove or maybe I have a boyfriend. Like, ftw?! Then there comes Nash. Ever since my parents saw me hanging out with her and my friends, they started hating on her. I have no idea why but they said she’s a tomboy. They said I need to avoid her or else. I kinda got disappointed about it. Good news : #him and I are best friends now, kind of. We were sending SMS to each other and when I was sharing why I was disappointed, I feel extremely secure. Like seriously, he’s so nice and he gave me a good advice : “With trust in self…nothing is impossible:)” that’s what he told me. It doesn’t sound like it’s him who’s actually telling me that, right? I mean. He’s just so neutral and different but.. maybe I didn’t really know him that well. Soooo, hell week is here. I’m going to be reading books and studying and studying and studying.
P.S. I hope everything will be okay on Monday and of course, #him and I.. closer than ever 🙂
Love, Nurizza :>
Hi. I received good news from my mother this morning and I was so happy. It was about a thing between me and this boy last May-July 2011.
I actually thought he didn’t love me anymore and left because he found another girl. I was wrong. I should’ve believed him. I jumped to hundreds of conclusion that time. This morning, my mother told me that his mother and she talked about us. There were stuff that I couldn’t mention since they’re really private. I don’t also want to share my love life easily [except for #him] these days especially in the internet. I don’t wanna publish things that are too personal.
Anyways, #her and I are friends now. We even talked, laughed, and she taught me how to dance the waltz. It’s for our PE dance and the polishing is on Monday. I’m glad we are. Even though sometimes it still hurts to see them together. My schedule this weekend is really crazy so I’m not yet sure if I can publish my posts. I have to practice for my PE dance and finish all of my requirements. And I even have to memorize my lines in our balagtasan next Thursday.
Life like this.. it’s just so easy and difficult at the same time.
I have no idea what to name this post.
I’m really busy this week with all of my requirements for school. I haven’t even accomplished any of it, yet. I have to memorize a 3 page balagtasan stuff. Things are really making me furious. Next, there goes our PE dance. I’m not a fan of being early and organized so whenever we have a practice, it’s always gonna be on lunch or dismissal and how the heck am I going to eat my lunch? I still believe that if I don’t eat my lunch, the food of course gets wasted and my mom will really scold me about it. I don’t wanna eat during recess time since it’s just a short break for snacks.
I’m also bothered because after Kc was sick, it was Athena’s turn. Athena’s leg really hurt and she’s been absent for the past days. I really don’t know what to do. I’m starting to make some of my requirements and memorize the balagtasan that Maam Lalie gave us. About #him and #her, they’re spending time with each other. Today, I saw them held hands because Nash told them to at the AVR 2. Bad news in their relationship? #him only texts #her for 5 minutes. 🙂 Hahahahaha!
I don’t wanna be mean to them. But I will have to admit that I still love #him at the same time, I miss my kinda-ex last May-June-July? I’m really hoping he could study here next year and be my classmate or schoolmate. I can’t wait to see him this summer but I know it’s really long. Anyways, #him and I are back to our selves again. We’re kinda friends now and we tease.. especially #him, a lot. So, yeah. I need to start with my requirements now. I’m gonna update stuff soon. Have a nice week 😀
Today was the worst day ever. #him proposed to #her at school today. I couldn’t help but cry during the English Speech Fest. It was then, I realized I gave up everything when I started to love him. I realized I needed and supposed to join the Extemporaneous Speaking this year because I made a promise to myself that I would defeat Debra. Last year I was part of it luckily thanks to Sir Von. But what happened? It was all because of #him. #him. #him. I regretted falling in love with him and now they’re together. Like, boyfriend and girlfriend already.
I’m tired of crying. My friends told me he wasn’t worth it and my tears are just wasted because of him. I don’t deserve somebody like him. Some guy out there deserves my love but I just couldn’t find him yet.. Not now. Crying helped me a lot out there at the lobby. And I can’t believe I took #him so seriously. It was so stupid of me.
This afternoon I argued with Nash because I took her joke seriously. She told me that they would have to call #her “Mommy”. Nash, Mona and Pat call me “Mommy” or “Mom” because #him was their “Daddy” or “Dad” and we’re one family. I was so furious that I could out of the building. Before that, Nash told #him that we don’t have anything to do anymore because he chose her and it’s over. #him said that whatever happens, they’re still his daughters. Yeah, whatever. Nash and I were finally okay when it was dismissal and I couldn’t help but play around with her. She’s really nice 🙂
I have one thing in mind though : To change for good. I am going to lose weight and improve my attitude, especially my jealousy and insecurities. I realized, er, that they do make a person real ugly. I’m going to happy. Starting now 🙂
So today.. my classmates and I got into a really big trouble. I don’t wanna share and share it anymore. It’s really tiring and believe me, I really wanna sleep. So, today all the plans my friends and I are planning for has totally gone out. It has come out. Drago told Angel, Amber, Butchie, #him and Nicole and #him this afternoon. I didn’t know what to do because some girls were crying already and it was really awkward. I even saw #him gave me a look like, “this-is-your-fault-that’s-why-you-should-have-not-been-so-jealous.” kind of look.
Okay, puke. Seriously. It was pure drama and such. They won because Nash was the only one talking and Mona wouldn’t dare to talk because she was so angry. Actually, what I meant by “they” is #her’s team. It sucks to realize that he chose her. It was really obvious. Tomorrow he will be deciding between me and #her and I’m thinking real positive this time that he would choose me. But obviously, I know it’s still gonna be her. He’ll regret this, though. I know he will. He said sorry to Nash because of what he did or I don’t know, particularly.
Tomorrow, will be a wonderful day and he will choose me against her. He will realize that I did join the plan because I want him. I really do. It will be a wonderful day tomorrow. A new start from a long journey.
So the previous post should be posted last Sunday but then WordPress wouldn’t allow me since there was this really stupid connection or whatever you call that.
I talked to #him yesterday about the whole issue between what he said to Nash. Because he told Nash that he would give me 1 week to improve myself to not get jealous so he would court me. I know it’s awkward, but I really love him.
He first chose her but then we talked about the 1 week and he said I don’t want it, but I realized I have to tell him the truth. So, I did. I said, I wanted it to continue. Then, he said.. Okay, 1 week. So a deal was still a deal.
Anyways, hearing all those fvcking rumors made me feel like a dumb lady. There’s a lot of story to tell. My classmates have been deserted because the problems are all interconnected. Some of my closest friends in the classroom and I planned something against #her. I didn’t mean to be that rude. But everything’s working. I don’t wanna mention all the stuff here since this is a blog and it’s so public.
I promise tomorrow will be a better day. Next week, I will be the one he’ll choose. Think positive! 🙂 And he told Nash that he wouldn’t disappoint her for his answer. Well, stay tuned..
What a week. Last Friday we had our Cosplay/Character Day and I was Mulan. Er, okay, I really don’t know what to say in front while sitting on the author’s chair since I didn’t prepare anything. I said random stuffs like, “Oh well, she’s brave enough to…” and “We have the same qualities like..” I was so disappointed with my self. Anyways, the new girl presented great or maybe amazing for some. She kinda retold the story about her character. I don’t care and #him was saying stuff like, ‘Yes.. that’s right.’ jokingly.I was indeed jealous and when Angel talked to #him and Ivan I guess all I could do was listen to Nash’s music in her phone while she was covering my ears while they talk about the new girl. It was so awkward when I saw them stopped talking when I was rhythmically saying lalalala wahahaha weee weee and etc..
Okay that was just a total fool out of me. #him and I turned out to be fine last Friday and it did felt good having him around again. I missed him so much. He was just.. completely handsome that day. With his white shirt inside his coat.. *sighs dreamily. He was dang formal and he looked so H O T. Even Kc agreed. I figured some secrets about #him and the new girl : He wasn’t serious and his friends were just playing a joke between #him and her. I yelled, YES! that time. Skip, skip, skip.. We held hands, we took a picture but then I deleted it and when Nash told him to take another picture with me, he agreed but then I didn’t. Anyways, the holding hands part was so fantastic. I feel so.. I don’t know how I could explain such feeling. You know, that feeling when your world stops and all you wanna do is cuddle with him with the butterflies in your stomach and your mind couldn’t stop thinking about him? Yes, that kind of feeling.
Alhamdulillah. My life’s pretty much fine now.